Life Under Construction

Found this at a friend’s friend’s blog…. 

Ode to the Nice Guys
This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal

 This
is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that
never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and
bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point.
This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean
on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open
doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside
the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys
that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their
female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most
girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with
open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in
honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to
her theology to her clothing style. This is for the guys who escort
their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take
advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to
bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the
guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out
anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the
rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend
material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice
guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the
nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is
for you.
 

This
is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and
when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly
dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And
even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you
assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This
is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever
orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her
and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And
even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the
guy, you paused the game for two hours and
helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is
also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that
there was nothing "serious" between the two of you, she dragged you to
a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted
shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by
announcing to everyone: "oh, but we’re just friends!". And even though
you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went
anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The
nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more
disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they
should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t.
From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from
talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only
conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical,
manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice
guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational,
confusing things such as, "oh, he’s too nice to date" or "he would be a
good boyfriend but he’s not for me" or "he already puts up with so much
from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!" or the most frustrating of
all: "no, it would ruin our friendship". Yet, they continue to lament
the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their
too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men
that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to
fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what
they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do,
is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever.
There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought
and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for
granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier,
finding the ones that are single.

So,
until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys.
You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself
described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the
world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of
doors, your party escorting services, your
propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane,
absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the
faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my
gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and
your well deserved vindication is coming.

 Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003